So I went to McDonald's for lunch the other day with my friends Jeff and Gene. They were having that McDonald's Monopoly game going on and would you believe it? I peeled off my game piece from my fries and it was revealed that I was indeed and INSTANT WINNER! Of what you may ask? Any breakfast sandwich (except for a sausage McMuffin for whatever reason). So I had this little piece of paper in my pocket - of which my two friends were fiercely jealous - for over two weeks before deciding to use it one morning on the way to work.
SO! I get on the drive through line - I get to the menu and have NO IDEA what to order - I'm faced with a deluge of what looks like identical items - and so I just get an egg, bacon, and cheese on a biscuit sandwich. I ask the guy over the loudspeaker if it's ok and tell him I'm an instant winner and have the piece of paper and all.
I get to the window and he scrutinizes the paper like I was trying to forge my way into Fort Knox. Finally I get the thing and after the first bite I remember just why I NEVER go to McDonald's for breakfast - IT STINKS! I like a Big Mac for sure - and my kid and wife love the fries - but what the hell is wrong with these over-sized yellow and brown hockey pucks that taste like cardboard and shatter like that white packing board you get when you buy a toaster oven?
So I'm driving up-hill to work covered in egg-something-or-other and cold biscuit shards, drinking warm ginger ale out of a straw-learning-how-to-drink cup I snatched from my 2+ year old's cupboard as I rushed out the door, in 25 degree weather with about 5 minutes to spare before I have to teach my 8 am freshman class of 52 students (of which 34 show up by 8:15 anyway). Suddenly I became aware of one very painful fact - McDonald's was pointing out to me that I was an INSTANT LOSER!!!!